13 Guardian 28th Year of the Dragon Age
Having survived the battle with the villagers and the possessed dead, the Shits continued their slow journey through the dark, bile coated caves. The group – in high spirits from their recent victory – chatted away. Boreas had his own conversation, muttering away to himself.
The chatter soon stopped, when the troupe entered a room containing the bodies of several children, who appeared to have been cut on something awful. The silence of our adventurers was telling. They progressed slowly into the next room, in which they found several cages with scarred creatures as their prisoners. They were squat creatures, mostly hairless and asymmetrical features. They sported claws on the end of some appendages and spiked bones jutting out of their flesh. They threw themselves at their cages as the Shits approached.
Pathetic cries carried through the air. The foursome followed the sound, to the corner of the room. Approaching the cage it became apparent that the creature making the sounds was a small human girl. After a brief conversation, Boreas – in his infinite wisdom – decided to bash the lock on the girls cage door with his sword, damaging it in the process. Sigh.
Surprisingly the braindead beefcake’s mighty bashing skill doesn’t come through. Yeran attempted to gain the child’s trust but fared no better. Perhaps like a Jedi, she too could sense a disturbance in the force when the mage began to talk to her.
Banal’ras-Vun rolled her eyes and pushed both the men out of the way to attempt to pick the lock that Boreas had failed so hard on, making conversation tentatively with the girl. Boreas realising he needed to work off the rage effects of his last ’roid shot, decided to kill all of the caged creatures in the room.
During Banal’ras-Vun’s conversation, which lasted no longer than was required to breach the lock, our hot Rogue discovers the girl’s name is Kaylah.
Mah’jeek rejoins the group after being distracted by something else in the room, he does not say what, and no one else in the party asks. After very little discussion the party advise Kaylah that her brother is waiting for her on the surface and she should run, through the dark, dangerous cave, alone, back to him. This would not come back to bite them in the ass in any way shape or form. Nope. Not at all.
The “Saviours of Vintiver” progressed into the next room and quickly realised that they had reached a dead end. On the far wall an arc of symbols symbols were drawn in blood. Below these, a set of patterns some complete, others with the last symbols missing.
It was both clear and unclear what was needed.
Inspecting for for some time, pretending like he might have a clue what the symbols represented, Yeran finally (after about 2 minutes) decided that this riddle was beyond his cognitive capacity. Throughout hunting their quarry, the party had been collecting torn pages scattered throughout almost all of the rooms the Shits had passed through. Feeling mentally outclassed, Yeran decided to use this time to translate these notes as they were all written in Ancient Tevene. He sat down in the corner sitting quietly and nodding, making various contemplative noises. #howamagelooksbusy
The remaining three stared at the puzzle. Boreas decides to draw a pair of big floppy titties, followed by a plus symbol. Copying two of the symbols from the arc. A stone fist then appeared and decked Boreas. The wall altered the symbols Boreas had placed and added a new incomplete line below.
Mah’jeek decided to step up and take a shot, painting a few symbols with his girthy finger.
However the large mage got it WRONG!
A wave of fire was born mid air and cascaded through the room scalding everyone. Again the symbols on the wall altered and a new line appeared.
Then Banal’ras-Vun confidently steps up to the wall to have a go.
A giant ball of fire crashed down on everyone causing MOAR FIRE DAMAGE.
At this point there was a rumbling, grinding noise as a slab of stone slowly drew back, revealing a dark passage for the Shits to snake along. As if having gotten flamed twice wasn’t enough, Banal’ras-Vun progressed a little carelessly through the passage and took a fireball to the face.
The party came upon a large cavern, they could hear scratching, tapping, dragging noises. Yeran’s heart sank. From the darkness came their next challenge a Drake and two Dragonlings, bitches!
Boreas adopting his single weapon stance, drew his sword. Then he ran away. Eager to make use of a slightly more offensive posture, Yeran weakened the Drake. But the initiative is soon nullified, as our heroes began to…disagree…on what approach to take. After a bit of confusion, Boreas remembered he has really impressive armor and charged in to attack the Drake. Meanwhile Banal’ras-Vun executed a backstab. Teamwork baby!
One of the Dragonlings scurried across the dusty earth and on to a pile of rubble. From there it attacked Yeran. The teeny Dragonlings ganged up on Banal’ras-Vun, all out attacking her. Yeran attempted to heal his friends, but was rather bad at it, as usual. While Mah’jeek grunted like a horny boar.
The Drake properly wailed on Boreas, clawing the warrior and flaming him, while Banal’ras-Vun kited the dragonlings, exploiting that tasty defense to good effect. Yeran used up the last of his mana tossing heals between the pair.
While Banal’ras-Vun explored the cave while bravely running away from the dragonlings, a giant swing from Boreas connected with the Drake, then a stone pillar immediately after, causing a curtain of dust and debris to come down around it.
The battle continued on, a few of the Drake’s attacks missing their target. Eventually, it takes a terrible slash to its eye, causing it to charge forward and plough through a part of the cave wall. The party then turn to aid Banal’ras-Vun in taking down the Dragonlings who are quickly dispatched.
A high price was paid for this unnecessary battle; both Mah’jeek and Yeran’s mana pools wers depleted. A point that – after navigating further through the building, along dank dark tunnels and up creaking ladders – is hammered home when the group finally found what they came here for. A badass blood mage and her entourage.
As entranced villagers surround the fetid fellowship, an old, grotesque smile forms on the mage’s face, and a wall of swirling crimson builds up around her.
Is this the end of The Shits?….