Fucking about in Ferelden

A Stab in the Dark - Part 2

Players continue to be #fuckingnoobs

30 Harvestmere 27th Year of the Dragon Age

As Boreas recovered from his near death experience, he felt very embarrassed that he was almost killed by the Hurlock. Mah’jeek meanwhile approached the Darkspawn bodies hoping that he may be able to loot something of value from them. As he peered over the murky oozing darkness that was a deceased Genlock, he decided against going near it, telling himself that there probably wasn’t anything on of value anyway.

Our heroes then pressed on and came to a fork in the passageway. There were two ways that the three of them could have gone. On the right was a large room, with nothing to be seen at first glance, while to the left was a dark, narrow and ominous corridor. Boreas picked up a small stone and tossed it into the large room. The clatter of the stone as it hit the ground felt deafening to them in the utter silence of the caves. Even so, nothing responded to this action and so Boreas and Mah’jeek walked cautiously inside. Sigge remained behind to keep an eye out for anything that may come through the corridor.

As the pair entered the room, Boreas came to a sudden halt and ceased to move, as if he had been frozen in time while the rest of the world moved around him. Despite this, he was aware of what happened around him and thus was able to see Mah’jeek trigger another booby trap of some sort that engulfed him in a blast of flame after which Mah’jeek looked a little crispier than normal.

Since Boreas was unable to do anything for the time being, Mah’jeek continued to explore the room. To his left was a tapestry which has faded to such an extent that no one could tell what it was meant to depict anymore. On his right was another similar tapestry, although this one seemed to be moving. Whether it was just an airflow or some sort of magical energy that was causing this, he didn’t know but he decided to leave it for the time being. In the middle of the far wall was a small desk with one drawer. Mah’jeek opened it and found a book, which he picked up. The title read ‘ Davrik’s Journal’, Mah’jeek was unable to understand most of what was written, but he could make out some of the words. He decided to store it for a proper look through later. Finally, the mage looked above him and doubled back in the sheer horror at the sight of several corpses hanging in cages, hoisted into the air. While most were human some of them were Darkspawn. They had all been mutilated, ranging from deep wounds across the stomach to having skin ripped from their bodies, leaving only a heap of shimmering muscle. One of the corpses still had blood dripping from it, meaning that the killer of these people had recently been there.

To distract him from the horrors that were above him, he focused his attention on the moving tapestry. He decided to move it aside, taking the precaution of drawing his Morningstar, which he used to pull back the tapestry. This revealed a small alcove with two levers behind it, set up side by side. At the same time as the tapestry Mah’jeek moved the tapestry the paralyzing effect on Boreas wore off. However, as his mind had moved on from thinking about the act of walking he was caught off guard when suddenly he regained the ability to move, along with his previous momentum. This quickly sent Boreas moving forward unexpectedly and caused him to fall flat on his face. Deciding that they didn’t like this room whatsoever, our heroes retreated and made their way down the narrow corridor, keeping the levers in mind for later. Sigge shook her head disappointedly at the idiocy of her comrades and followed them through.

At the end of the corridor, they came across a room with a chest in the centre and torches either side of it. Our heroes began to approach it, but suddenly a Hurlock and a Ghoul jumped out of the darkness and surprised them with an attack. The group made short work of their assailants, Sigge backstabbed the Hurlock through the chest and Boreas decapitated the Ghoul. He tossed the head to Sigge, expecting her to slice it in half in midair like a badass, but she had hardly enough time to draw her sword from out of the Hurlock’s chest and therefore did not expect the oncoming head. It slammed into her face and slowly dripped down the rest of her body before flopping to the ground. Sigge was not very happy with Boreas following that move.

With the adversaries taken care of, the trio turned their attention to the treasure chest. Sigge pulled out her lockpicks and opened the chest. Inside they found nine silver – Boreas’ share was taken by Sigge as compensation for the Ghoul head – and a glowstone in a retractable housing, which Mah’jeek took before anybody else has a chance to act. Finding no more exits other than the one way they came in, they decide to return to the levers.

Once again inside the large room, Mah’jeek worried about what the levers might do if they are pulled and despite Boreas’ protest to simply pull them and see what happens, decided to consult Davrik’s journal for any information regarding the levers. The rest of the group meanwhile set up camp in the room, because knowing Mah’jeek, it would likely take a while…

It took seven hours, but Mah’jeek was able to finally translate what he could in the journal. He found no information about the levers but he did learn what Davrik and his Darkspawn had been up to. The group now rested finally followed Boreas’ suggestion of just pulling the levers and seeing what happens. Mah’jeek pulled both levers, The lever on the left easily fell, but had no visible effect. The one on the right however was more difficult to pull. He tried again and succeeded in pulling it all the way down. A false wall on the opposite end of the room then raised slightly. Mah’jeek continued to pull the lever on the right until the wall had been raised half way. Curiously, Mah’jeek decided to pull the left lever once more and the false wall immediately fell all of the way down, causing the mage to have to start again, much to the dismay of his comrades. Eventually though, the false wall was finally lifted to it’s full height and both Mah’jeek and Sigge walked inside. Boreas, however stayed behind beside the levers, ready to pull the false wall down if needed.

The others proceeded into the next room, which was dimly lit apart from a bright patch of light being emitted by a large concentration of candles on the opposite end of the room. It seemed that our heroes had stumbled onto some sort of evil ritual, complete with a stone altar, a hooded figure holding a knife and a sacrifice. Sigge drew her weapon, only to realise that the pair of them were surrounded by Darkspawn. The Darkspawn began to approach, snarling distastefully, but stopped immediately as the hooded figure raised its hand. At which point he flicked back his hood and revealed himself as Davrik. Sigge, however, was just confused, because for her, all she could see was a Hurlock and all she was able to hear was grunting but Mah’jeek could see who was really there and was able to understand what he was saying. Sigge trusted Mah’jeek to get them out of this situation as the Darkspawn hadn’t started to attack them… yet..

Mahjeek tried to convince Davrik that he too was a mage who was in hiding from most of the world and had sought him out to learn more of his Darkspawn-controlling magic. However, being very intelligent, Davriik saw through Mah’jeek’s lies and gave a signal to his Darkspawn minions to attack. Sigge called Boreas for help as Davrik moved to pull another lever near the altar which caused the false wall to shut, trapping our heroes inside. Luckily, though Boreas made it though just in time and ran into the room to join his comrades. Even so, Davrik proved to be quite a formidable opponent and very skilled in his magical abilities (fucking stunting with every fucking spell!) and it took quite a bit of time for our heroes to defeat him. Boreas knocked most of his health down with strong melee attacks and Sigge used her bow to attack from range. However, it was Mah’jeek who dealt the finishing blow, firing an arcane lance straight through the evil mage’s right leg, slicing it clean off.

Davrik fell to the ground and Mah’jeek approached him asking what language the rest of his journal was written in. Davrik managed to be a pompous prick to the end, but revealed that the language was Ancient Tevene just before he flopped to the ground, drawing his last breath. They all looked around to see if there is anything of value, but found nothing. The sacrifice was also dead, killed by Davrik in the skirmish. Therefore, they left the cave and headed for the barn to check on the dog. However as they exited, they came across an elf, who claimed to be a messenger for Davrik. Mah’jeek cleverly tried to convince the elf that they were a new band of mercenaries that were working for Davrik. He succeeded and the elf handed over the message to him. Boreas tried to get some more information out of the elf, but not being particularly charismatic or good at lying, he fucked up and the elf finally saw through their trickery. The elf ran off into the woods and while Mah’jeek and Sigge both tried to take him down with ranged attacks they missed and hit a trees instead, giving the elf the opportunity to escape.

Our heroes made their way back to the barn and the dog (having chewed through his bonds) bounded happily and healthily towards them. Mah’jeek knelt on the ground and smiled with open arms, ready to embrace the dog. However it ran right past him. Bewildered, Mah’jeek looked behind him to find that the dog was instead running to Boreas, recognising that it was in fact he who had actually saved him and pulled the arrow out of his wound. Boreas named him Dog and they started to make their way back to Briarham to collect their reward, Mah’jeek slacked behind slightly, tears streaming down his face like a badly animated anime character, as he watched Boreas playing with Dog.

They reach the fork in the road where they had encountered the bandits previously and found two dwarves, one on top of a broken cart and the other cursing beside it. Upon seeing the adventurers, the dwarf atop the cart called out, the other one approached the adventurers and asked them for their help in fixing the cart. One of the carts wheels had dislodged as it ran over the corpse of one of the bandits that the adventurers had killed last time they were at this junction. Our heroes agreed to help. Boreas and Mah’jeek took the liberty to hoist up the cart and suspend it in the air while Sigge got under it to attach the wheel back onto where it should be. However, it turned out that Boreas and Mah’jeek had no stamina whatsoever and kept dropping the cart on top of Sigge. Even so, they managed to, eventually, fix the cart, but Sigge took the entire reward of three silver. In addition to the money, the dwarves offered to enchant some of Sigge’s arrows and Mah’jeek decided to pay for the service as a form of apology. Boreas made no such gesture.

After some enchanting of arrows, the dwarves offered to drive them back to Briarham. Boreas got up beside the driving dwarf while the others clambered onto the back of the cart. Dog happilly walked beside them on the ground. The journey was smooth sailing until they neared the town, where the rest of the bandit group ambushed the cart.

A battle ensued and although the majority of the brigands were mostly shit at aiming and kept missing most of their shots (though the ones that did hit fucking stunted with six points….), our heroes didn’t do that much better. They were able to hit with their attacks, but they seem to be very weak from not having rested. Dog didn’t offer much help either, having not been trained, he simply danced about yapping at the new company. However, the leader of the band managed to deliver a deadly blow to Boreas that felled him and caused him to start dying, at which point Dog snapped. He raged, killing the leader through biting and ripping off both his face and testes. Sigge was knocked down to the ground also and brought very close to death but quickly downed a healing potion. Meanwhile Mah’jeek stood there being a useless arse with no mana or any potions. The bandits closed in for the kill when suddenly, a pale blue light radiated from Boreas. Everybody looked in his direction as he was lifted into the air on a cloud of frost. A quiet voice only audible to Boreas whispered in his ear saying “Not yet.”

At which point much to the astonishment of his friends and the shocking horror of their assailants, Boreas rose up fully healed. He fell to the ground while performing a superhero pose as he did so and all the ground beneath him was frozen. If music was diegetic at this point, an epic guitar solo would play as he opened his eyes and grinned menacingly at the pieces of filth that had killed him. They were terrified and attempted to quickly steal the goods from the dwarves cart and make an escape, but just before they could lay their measly fingers on the cart, Boreas cut them off with the might of his sword. The bandit screamed and stepped backwards. Boreas then cut the rest of his arms off, causing the degenerate to faint from bloodloss and flop to the ground. Then, our brutish hero sliced the torso in half with one fell swoop. As for the other bandit, Dog bit his fingers off, allowing Sigge to finish him off with a backstab. Mah’jeek stood there being useless, though he did so with a smile on his face and pride in his friends.

The dwarves thanked our heroes for their aid and for some reason rewarded Mah’jeek with a lyrium potion. (Editor: They probably felt sorry for him being such a useless fuck) They then continued into town, riding the cart. Our heroes reached the pub and found their contractor, Grigor. Mah’jeek showed him evidence of their adventures in the form of the head of a Genlock. He also showed him Davrik’s journal, explaining it was he who allowed mercenaries to take the farmer’s chickens, and that he was also experimenting with the residents of the farm to attempt to control Darkspawn. Grigor thanked the heroes and gave them their reward of fifteen silver each. He told our heroes that he would have another job for them next week and that he would pay for room and board in the tavern should they decide to stay until then. He then challenged the trio to a drinking contest… Thirty three pints later and Grigor was victorious, with our heroes all passing out beforehand, first Mah’jeek, then Boreas and then Sigge.

After a night of recovery, Mah’jeek and Sigge are offered a secret hangover cure by the landlady. They drank it and were miraculously cured of their hangovers. They then shoved another down Boreas’ throat and with clear enough heads, the bartender told them that the Arl nearby had sent out word that he needed some mercenaries urgently, which could be something for them to do while they waited for Grigor to return. Sigge received word that she is needed elsewhere and therefore can’t join Mah’jeek and Boreas for their next adventure. So she said her farewells and told Boreas and Mah’jeek to keep her informed of where they are and where they’re going so that should a job come up she can get hold of them. She then left Boreas, Mah’jeek and Dog to sit in the bar, preparing for their next adventure.



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