13 Guardian 28th Year of the Dragon Age
The Shits entered their room at the inn and the door was locked behind them. They heard a piece of furniture being pushed up against the door. Out of defiance, Banal’ras-Vun pushed the chest of drawers in their room against the door, before realising the door opens the other way making the chest only a small vault rather than something blocking others’ entry. Yeran opened the window and a young man in the street below shouted up to him “Quick! You all need to leave while you still can!” before dashing away in the rain. The Shits lowered each other down to the ground from the window with Yeran and Mah’jeek spraining their ankles from falling badly. After considering returning to the inn to troll the innkeeper who must have locked them in their room, they followed the man to a shed on the outskirts of the village.
The young man was revealed to be a 16 year old boy who said his little sister, Kaylah, went missing about 3 weeks ago and that people were mysteriously changing when they entered the old Fletcherson house. Yeran molested up Mah’jeek under the pretense of healing him a bit and then they left to try to explore the house. Before they could leave, the boy warned of regular patrols and offered to make a distraction leading some of the people away and leaving the group to try to reach the house on their own.
Banal’ras-Vun sneaked up towards the house as Boreas kept watch for patrols. Yeran created a faint light in the sky as a distraction for one patrol as Mah’jeek threw a rock throw for the same purpose. The Shits managed to edge closer to the house street by street. When they arrived the boy’s cries attracted most of a group of villagers who were standing guard outside except for one. Banal’ras-Vun attepted to sneak up on him and knock out but required Boreas aid to finish the job. Boreas ran up to the lone guard and punched him knocking him flat on his back and unconscious.
They unlocked the door, dragging the guard in, before locking the door again. They starting exploring the house working their way up to the top floor attempting to reach the roof where they had seen someone sending a bird from. Banal’ras-Vun tried to climb a ladder up to the roof but fell through the floor. The oh-so dexterous Mah’jeek chuckled as he edged around the hole and climbed up to the roof, finding fresh bird feed and empty coops. The Shits then headed down to the basement, finding the property of old residents in crates and a dug out tunnel with piles of dirt around it. Yeran conjured a wisp to light the way and Boreas lead the way down until torches were seen up ahead.
There they came out into a large cave where tables, stricken with blood and body parts, were arranged. There was also a small group of villages playing cards on the lone clean table. They noticed Boreas shouting out causing a corpse to rise from a table along with another corpse shambling towards Mah’jeek from behind the Shits. None of the squad were scared, this was not their first rodeo after all. Banal’ras-Vun charged upon the table corpse and began to wail on it. Boreas moved up and knocked out one of the villagers while the Mages moved into the room and away from the corpse. Boreas quickly subdued the other villagers and Banal’ras-Vun had a flawless victory on the table corpse, whipping around to start work on the other one. Boreas charged in for this post-necrophilic gang-bang on the last corpse. Upon looting, the mages found scribbled notes in Ancient Tevene while the others found a couple of potions.
They made their way further into the caverns, spotting a group of villagers moving up ahead, before they can hide themselves they are spotted and they immediately scatter out of sight. Boreas decided to barrel down the narrow corridor after them finding a hole trap in the darkness. After he hits the bottom of the pit he digs out his lantern and attempts to light it. Banal’ras-Vun explored a side passage and made a new friend, a corpse who strangles her. Yeran followed Banal’ras-Vun leaving Mah’jeek to get snuck up on by another corpse who starts to strangle him. Boreas lights his lantern and stands up as he looks around he finds he has become surrounded by villagers who knock him prone again. Villagers surround Mah’jeek too save for one narrow gap which he escapes through after breaking free from the corpses strangulation. He ran into a Devouring Corpse then quickly turned around and ran a different way. The Enraged Corpse catches up to him and begins strangling him again, eventually the villagers surround him again. Mah’jeek’s cries echoed through the cave and Yeran ran around the labyrinthine network trying to find him as Boreas KILLS the two villagers attacking him and runs off.
Boreas sprinted through the passages trying to find his way back to his friends and Mah’jeek. He found his way to the room that he had originally been trying to get to before falling down the hole trap. He decides to leap across the pit towards the sound of Mah’jeek’s gurgling. Critically misjudging the distance and falling down the hole, again, clearly demonstrating his lack of cunning. Mah’jeek managed to break free of the strangulation again, beating the corpse so had it gets spun around and starts to strangle the corpse behind it out of confusion. Mah’jeek starts rapidly spamming Heal spells on himself managing to over compensate for the incoming damage from the corpse in front of him and the villagers behind him. Boreas and Banal’ras-Vun created a sandwich of the double sandwiching bad guys on Mah’jeek. Banal’ras-Vun attempted a back-stab but the villager was so aware that he manages to turn the attack back on her. Banalras-Vun then made a fancy as fuck attack, making the guys (and corpse) stand in awe of her, dealing a massive amount of damage to the villager who was barely standing from his prior wounds. Banal’ras-Vun then knocked out the last villager and Boreas beheaded the Devouring Corpse and tried to stuff the head into the Enraged Corpse’s mouth, however, it moves out of the way and the head is thrown onto Mah’jeek.
The Enraged Corpse then takes a ride on Boreas’ unsheathed bastard sword (literally and not in the necrophilic way). Mah’jeek finally starts to wake up and seized the initiative, letting off a volley of Arcane Lance blasts at the Enraged Corpse almost taking it down. But naturally Boreas’ “OP”combat skills get the kill.