Fucking about in Ferelden

The Dalish Curse - Part 2

04 Guardian 28th Year of the Dragon Age


The next day Boreas awoke in his bed at the inn feeling slightly disappointed as he was having the most excellent dream that a warrior could wish for. His eyes had opened late after all the others, who were already enjoying their breakfast downstairs. After eating for himself (clearing out the rest of the inn’s pantry in the process), The Shits left to begin their quest. Tarl Dale stopped them on the road before they left Vintiver, asking where they were going.

Yeran explained that they were going to slay the monsters that attacked the elves. Elodie elaborated further, saying that the elven woman, Eshara, spoke to them the night before and asked out of courtesy to his profession and reputation as a lawman for his assistance in killing the abomination Eshara had spoke of. However, he (not very) politely refused the request, saying his duty required him to stay at the village, and that he will make sure Eshara wouldn’t come to any harm until the shits return.

The Shits took up their gear once more and left the village. They soon came to a bend in the road, where they were surprised by the blacksmith, Coalan, and some members of the angry, torch-and-pitchfork-wielding mob from the night before. They didn’t look like they would be offering cookies and milk for our heroes.

Boreas immediately ran for the high ground, feeling a quote coming on. However, he left all of the other, much squishier, members of the group out in the open. He shouted to Coalan at the top of his voice to try and set up the quote, but the bastard didn’t follow through with it. The other members of The Shits, bewildered by Boreas’ actions, seemed to be somewhat distracted, and the villagers, led by Coalan, mauled them, knocking them all prone. Boreas (from up on his high ground) still felt mighty proud of his actions and was sure it would make a fine meme in the future.

Yeran ran up the hill to join Boreas and smacked some sense into him. Feeling enlightened, Boreas ran down the hill and whacked a drunkard with Rollo’s Revenge. Elodie also recovered from being knocked down and joined Yeran atop the hill. Mah’jeek on the other hand stayed at the bottom of the hill to cast some offensive spells to slow the bastards down, including casting a Walking Bomb on Coalan. One of them avoided his spells and managed to knock him down again. They then surrounded him, creating a near-perfect bully circle, and knocked him out. They then disrespectfully threw his unconscious body away from his friends into the bushes.

Luckily, Yeran came to the rescue and cast a far off heal, as well as healing Elodie. He didn’t feel obliged to do anything with Boreas at that moment, so he simply scowled at him and stuck out his tongue for good measure. Boreas killed the drunkard, decapitating him and throwing the head at Coalan, as proof of his might. However, the blacksmith swung his hammer and smacked the head like a baseball, making it land right into the lap of Mah’jeek’s unconscious body. He then charged at Boreas and started attacking him. With Coalan distracted by Boreas, Elodie took advantage of the situation and shot him with an arrow, which ruptured a blood vessel, causing him to start bleeding, on top of the Walking Bomb attached to him.

The rest of the villagers surrounded Boreas, passing him down a line through skirmishing so that everybody got a turn at bashing him with their clubs and other pointy things. Boreas recovered afterwards and smacked Coalan, after Yeran had also cast a spell on him. Realising the warrior’s might, the blacksmith decided to focus on Elodie while padding his wound to stem the bleeding. Seeing the blacksmiths change in tactics, the rest of the mob similarly started attacking Elodie, adopting the same pass-the-parcel style as was previously done with Mah’jeek and Boreas.

Speaking of whom, Boreas tried to attack Coalan once again, but didn’t do too much damage, leaving the blacksmith to slam the Avvar right into the frenzy, causing him to be surrounded once more by the mob, while also dealing quite a lot of damage to the “tank”. Elodie tried backstabbing Coalan but he noticed her before she could land the strike. Meanwhile, Boreas was subjected to more ass fucks with the pointy ends of the villagers’ amateurish weapons.

Elodie dealt the finishing blow, knocking Coalan out. Seeing their ringleader down, the villagers picked him up and ran off to escape. The Shits were unable to catch up with them and realised that Eshara may be in danger now, as the blacksmith may place the blame of the heroes’ actions on her. They had a heated debate on their next move. Elodie wanted to return to the village to assure that Eshara would be safe. The others however decided to continue with the quest Eshara had given them, and walked off. Elodie watched the villagers as they disappeared out of view. She turned around and realised that none of The Shits were still around, so with a huff, she ran to catch up with them.

The Shits continued walking into a forest and came across a clearing, where some ruckus had once taken place. The carcasses of some horses lay together, beside a wooden post where they were tied to. The remains of a stew, picked at over time by scavengers, sloshed around in a small metal pot, as the wind blew over the rim. In the encroaching darkness, the group tried to do some sleuthing. Boreas, Elodie and Mah’jeek walked around looking for tracks, creating their own in the process and messing up any legitimate evidence of an attack. Only Yeran had the initiative to get out a lantern and search the ground. He soon found the tracks of the elves that they had been sent to rescue, but nothing of any abomination. Suddenly, the elven mage swung his lantern up and around with the aim to inform his friends of his findings, but as he swung around to speak, the lantern lit up the face of an anthropomorphic jackal-like creature, a Revenger. It’s glowing red eyes hypnotised Yeran into fear. He then ran back to his friends to warn them, only to find that they too had encountered them, and that they had been surrounded.

The Revengers moved in on the group, forcing them into a corner. With their backs to one of the overturned aravel that had belonged to the Dalish clan. Boreas, Elodie and Mah’jeek surrounded Yeran to protect their healer. However, Mah’jeek, still weak from their last fight, fell once more. Having taken care of one, the Revengers shifted their focus to Elodie. They slashed and bit her, almost felling her as well. Boreas was fine, his mighty armor gleamed protecting him from almost all harm. Yeran was safe behind his meat shields and healed Elodie. Boreas whipped out a healing potion in preparation to feed it to Mah’jeek in order to stabilise him, but for the time being, he slashed the Revenger in front of him, getting a cheeky stunt in the process, which allowed him to attack two of them. He killed one of them and dumped the carcass on Mah’jeek’s dying, pitiful body…

A Revenger caused Elodie to fall, taking the term ‘meat-shield’ to the next level. Yeran stabilised her however, and also healed Boreas as well. At the next opportunity, Boreas used his healing potion on Mah’jeek to stabilise him, and then slashed another Revenger. With his fallen comrades bodies blocking all other approaches the Revengers only option was to attack Boreas. The final Revenger grabbed Elodie’s ankles, with an intent on dragging her out of the way to get at the juicy, squishy flesh of Yeran.

Yeran healed Boreas significantly, which boosted the Avvar’s confidence and sent a surge of adrenaline up his spine, allowing him to kill another Revenger, chucking the body onto Elodie. This action surprised the Revenger at Elodie’s feet and demoralised it, causing it to let go of her ankles. With his dastardly plan foiled, the Revenger instead turned his attention to Boreas and attacked him with bites and scratches. Boreas channeled his strength and rage into a sick six-point stunt, first slashing the two Revengers in one fell swoop, and then attacking the nearest once more. Yeran needlessly healed the tank, but even so, it gave Boreas a good feeling, for he got himself yet another stunt. Not as powerful as the last, but still enough to slay the Revenger. The final remaining Revenger, in fear for its life, ran off into the blackness of the forest.

The two fallen heroes awoke after some time to find their bodies covered in Dalish elf corpses and blood. This confused everybody. The mages attempted to remember anything from their arcane knowledge to explain what had occurred, but were unable to find any similar situation in their combined knowledge. With nothing to go on, they decided to sleep, with Boreas taking first watch, which mostly involved admiring the stars instead of keeping watch. Yeran was next and he decided to inhale his incense to hone his senses, but nothing untoward occurred. Nothing with Mah’jeek either and, finally, Elodie took her turn and still found nothing. The night was uneventful, to say the least.



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